Understanding why a metric moved, not just that it did.

In the realm of Hellometrics, a call center measures its success by "Average Handle Time." The goal is efficiency; the result is agents hanging up on grieving widows to keep their average under four minutes. The metric is hit; the service is destroyed.

While hellometrics might seem like a lighthearted or whimsical topic, it can actually be a fun way to explore complex ideas and challenge our assumptions about morality, punishment, and the nature of Hell.