Ingrid closed her eyes. She pictured her niece and nephew, fingers sticky with peanut butter, little teeth sinking into the salty, flaky discs of her former life. She pictured herself sitting across from them, nibbling her sad, dense impostor cracker, pretending not to watch.
Mark, who had been diagnosed with Celiac disease six months ago. Mark, who hadn't stopped talking about how much he missed the buttery, flaky crunch of a Ritz cracker since the diagnosis.
"This looks amazing," Mark said, dropping his coat on the chair. Then, his eyes landed on the red box. He paused. A wistful, sad smile touched his lips. "Man. I haven't had a Ritz in forever. I still dream about them."
She preheated the oven. She pulled out a bag of fine white rice flour, cornstarch, tapioca starch. She cut cold butter into the dry mix with a pastry cutter, the way her grandmother taught her for pie crust. She rolled the dough thin—thinner than she thought possible—and cut out tiny circles with the rim of a shot glass. She poked them with a fork, brushed them with melted butter, and sprinkled them with sea salt.
Ingrid had known the answer before she typed it the first time. She’d known it for six years, ever since her doctor sat her down with a laminated chart of “forbidden foods.” But Ritz crackers were the last thread connecting her to the easy, thoughtless eating of her pre-celiac life. The buttery, salty, shattering-in-your-mouth perfection of a Ritz was the taste of childhood sick days, of teenage sleepovers, of college cram sessions where she’d crush them into tomato soup.
“No, you weirdo. Raisins are for oatmeal cookies. I use mini chocolate chips.”
She looked at the red box on the counter. It felt heavy now, like a paperweight.
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