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Allison Carr Mutha Magazine Fixed

Allison Carr Mutha Magazine Fixed

But she was right, and she wasn’t. She wasn’t sad in that photo. She was furious. And I was exhausted. And the two feelings had occupied the same square inch of our kitchen floor. Mutha readers know this space. It’s the space where the pristine fantasy of motherhood—the one sold to us in the glossy magazines at the pediatrician’s office—goes to die. It is replaced by something rawer, funnier, and infinitely more true.

But here is the truth I have found in the dust motes dancing in the afternoon sun: Balance is a lie. Balance suggests a state of rest, a perfect equilibrium. Parenting is not static. It is kinetic. It is a constant, feverish adjustment of weight. It is dropping the ball, picking it up, and realizing the ball was never the point. allison carr mutha magazine

Carr’s articles for are known for their vulnerability and rejection of "saccharine" or unrealistic portrayals of motherhood. Her work often tackles: But she was right, and she wasn’t

This is what I want to tell the woman who is reading this in the bathtub while her partner wrangles the toddler, or the one hiding in the Target parking lot for ten extra minutes just to hear herself think. You are not failing because your kitchen is a disaster zone. You are not a bad mother because you did not make the sensory bin from Pinterest. You are not broken because you sometimes miss the silence. And I was exhausted

Motherhood, I was told, was an addition. A glorious, messy add-on to the structure of the Modern Woman. But nobody told me that additions require you to tear down the load-bearing walls of your former self. Nobody told me that the noise of a toddler’s tantrum could actually rewire your brain chemistry, or that the tenderness of a small hand on your cheek could physically ache in your chest.

So here is my prayer for us, the Muthas : May we stop trying to polish the lens. May we stop comparing our blooper reels to other people’s highlight reels. May we see the blur for what it is—motion, chaos, love, the frantic beautiful mess of raising humans while still trying to be one ourselves.

My daughter eventually handed me back the phone. She had moved on to the next photo: a crisp, perfect shot of our dog sleeping. She smiled, said “Puppy,” and ran off to destroy the living room.

Allison Carr Mutha Magazine Fixed

Allison Carr Mutha Magazine Fixed

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Allison Carr Mutha Magazine Fixed

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Allison Carr Mutha Magazine Fixed

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Allison Carr Mutha Magazine Fixed

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Allison Carr Mutha Magazine Fixed

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Original Prototype

allison carr mutha magazine
Date:

It all started with online Character Builder. For many years, I was spending 3 hours on public transport each day. Sometimes I spent them on the original, offline Character Builder.

Until it went online. Wanting better offline access, the prototype as seen on right was born. It was a bookmarket that just grabbed entries from online compendium into a popup, applied DataTables on top of it, and then you can manually save the popup for offline use.

1st Version

allison carr mutha magazine
Date: ; Development stopped 2011 March.

It is nice to have an offline catalog. So I keep working on it. Inspired by DataTables' search code, I coded a search term parser that works with Google like syntax.

With the ability to search for feat with "bonus to damage" OR "extra damage" -"feat bonus", it is now possible to build characters using a goal-oriented approach, instead of choosing from valid options.

New features are also being added. Preview panel, multi columns, or pick out items and generate a simple sheet such as character power list. The script also grabs a nice wallpaper through Coral, output fancy CSS styles, data uri icons etc.

It helped me a lot in the two years that follows, both as a DM and as a player.

2nd Version

allison carr mutha magazine
Three screens from left to right. Date:

The problem with first version is that it is big and slow even on PC, much less mobile. "Powers" is a 15MB html file, and the browser has to layout all 8800 powers when it is opened.

Thus come the second version, powered by the then prototype jQuery Mobile. It looks good. Impressive animation, elegance style, familiar icons. An index was created from Ails' RPG icons, data are processed in multiple threads, and appcache used to preload data.

Then disaster struck. Most mobile browser refuse to load local HTML, and Google Chrome disabling a lot of features for local file. Biggest problem is, jQuery Mobile takes very long time to display entry list (rightmost screen). Two to three times longer then displaying their _contents_ in previous version. This is when I give up.

At least the nice icons are reused in later versions.

3rd Version

allison carr mutha magazine
Date: , prototype. Later releases look like v3.5.

Third version development started in 2012 Sep, and is a bold experiment in what can JavaScript do. Instead of letting the official compendium do most of the work, the new version do download, convert, index, everything by itself.

Sadly, soon after the first prototype, Firefox killed file writing permanently.
That leaves IE as the only supported browser, until IE 11 arrives which hides (and breaks) file writing too.

After playtesting D&D Next (5th edition) for a few months, work restarted in May 2013. With the data split into many small files to speed up access, the second prototype works like a charm. But then my time diverted to 5e and other games, and major development stopped around May 2014.

3.5th Version

allison carr mutha magazine
Date:

By 2016, I gave up 5e and switched back. The world changed a lot. Mobile has overtaken desktop, Internet Explorer is dead, DDI has frozen and switched login system, JavaFX 8 brings a scriptable browser to standard Java. Our firstborn is due in October, too, so I better fix the download problems asap.

In July 2016, a downloader is coded in Java. Code is simple. No need to check new data, no need to fool security, and clean separation of input and output. I can fix errors, add new columns, or exclude flavour text from full text search. Things that were too complicated to do in v3.

The plan was to bug fix the old viewer and write a new one. But it works so well, I keep improving it after our baby is born. As of writing, a new build is released every few months, and over a thousand rule entries has been fixed or enhanced. I cannot promise to keep up the pace, but if there is something you want, just file a feature request on GitHub.

Allison Carr Mutha Magazine Fixed

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3.6.1
Chrome cross origin request (CORS) script error and other bugs fixed.
3.6.0
Regroup Artifact, Lair, and Alchemical items. Add size and type column to companions and monsters. Add Artifact and Item Set rules. Allow filtering empty columns. Exclude more flavour text from search. Better mobile support and UI. Reduce file count to 446, supports LZMA+Base85 compression (57MB to 12MB). Allow exporting unfixed data and dumping fixed data. Total fixed 1560+ entries including regressions. Plus assorted fixes and enhancements.
3.5.3
Autocomplete in column filters, list power types and race origins, item can be filtered by high level versions, item set text index exclude items, column filter highlight, update checker in viewer. Add csv, tsv, json, sql, and xlsx dump of raw data. Total fixed 1300+ entries. New columns, assorted fixes and improvements. First Youtube video.
3.5.2.1
Add raw data export in html and high contrast theme (Windows). Fix new Java compatibility and other bugs.
3.5.2
Multi-thread export, reduce file count from 25k to 1.8k, split items into four categories, new data columns, internal lookup, and accessibility improvements. Total fixed 530+ entries.
3.5.1
Implement paging, fix all category list and some search bugs, update entry style and mobile layout, and 370+ entry corrections.
3.5.0
Faster result display; improves layout, highlight, and search. Fix IE 11 and Chrome 51 compatibility.
3.0 M3
Improved search flow, guide, and navigation; implemented filter, sort, next, prev.
3.0 M2
Added local data reindex/delete, navbar, responsive layout, simplify data storage, proper download state tracking, sort & style category, background image, style all entries.
3.0 M1
Added style for power, content image conversion, help doc, AGPL license, view source, email, regx terms.
3.0 M0
Published through Github. Added about page, nav header style.
3.0 Proto 2
Prototype complete after testing on full set of compendium data.
3.0 Design
Skeleton code outlining program structure.

Allison Carr Mutha Magazine Fixed

But she was right, and she wasn’t. She wasn’t sad in that photo. She was furious. And I was exhausted. And the two feelings had occupied the same square inch of our kitchen floor. Mutha readers know this space. It’s the space where the pristine fantasy of motherhood—the one sold to us in the glossy magazines at the pediatrician’s office—goes to die. It is replaced by something rawer, funnier, and infinitely more true.

But here is the truth I have found in the dust motes dancing in the afternoon sun: Balance is a lie. Balance suggests a state of rest, a perfect equilibrium. Parenting is not static. It is kinetic. It is a constant, feverish adjustment of weight. It is dropping the ball, picking it up, and realizing the ball was never the point.

Carr’s articles for are known for their vulnerability and rejection of "saccharine" or unrealistic portrayals of motherhood. Her work often tackles:

This is what I want to tell the woman who is reading this in the bathtub while her partner wrangles the toddler, or the one hiding in the Target parking lot for ten extra minutes just to hear herself think. You are not failing because your kitchen is a disaster zone. You are not a bad mother because you did not make the sensory bin from Pinterest. You are not broken because you sometimes miss the silence.

Motherhood, I was told, was an addition. A glorious, messy add-on to the structure of the Modern Woman. But nobody told me that additions require you to tear down the load-bearing walls of your former self. Nobody told me that the noise of a toddler’s tantrum could actually rewire your brain chemistry, or that the tenderness of a small hand on your cheek could physically ache in your chest.

So here is my prayer for us, the Muthas : May we stop trying to polish the lens. May we stop comparing our blooper reels to other people’s highlight reels. May we see the blur for what it is—motion, chaos, love, the frantic beautiful mess of raising humans while still trying to be one ourselves.

My daughter eventually handed me back the phone. She had moved on to the next photo: a crisp, perfect shot of our dog sleeping. She smiled, said “Puppy,” and ran off to destroy the living room.

Allison Carr Mutha Magazine Fixed